MEEEOOOOOW!

Apparently I am hotter than a witches cauldron in this picture. I am full of Piss and Vinegar and the World is a Vampire. Lately I feel have somewhat lost my Bloggin' Mojo, but I'm sure it will be back in full force as the "Canada Day" Long Weekend progresses......

1 in 2.5 Divorce Rate Just Like You......

Well well well, the vote is in... Canada has officially joined ranks with Belgium and the Netherlands....

It truly is a historic and positive step forward folks... I am an unabashedly proud Canadian today.

"“We are a nation of minorities. And in a nation of minorities, it is important that you don't cherry-pick rights.
.....A right is a right and that is what this vote tonight is all about."
- Paul Martin, Canadian Prime Minister - 

* AIRPLANE CORROSION OF THE WEEK *

What better way to start the fresh new work week after a holiday than with some nice juicy corrosion!!!!! I can almost taste the sulfury metallic dust now....

This lovely specimen was spotted on the underside of the Cabin floor, a typical haven for all sorts of moisture-induced nasties which are extremely common in passenger aircraft and also happen to be the worst enemy to Aluminum structure....
That's right kids, like I've mentioned Time and Time again... Coffee, Cola, Urine and Vomit - The Silent Airplane Killers -
The tragic truth is that most ignorant passengers spray these plane-poisons around without a care in the world..... Pissing into the wind and blowing chunks at will after drunkenly tipping their 15th Rum and Coke down the sidewall.

The safety of each and every flight depends on your diligence....
Please urinate sitting down and always vomit into a waterproof receptacle....And maybe consider a nice Gin and Tonic instead of an Aluminum acid bath libation. Please Think before you Drink.  

So Much For the City........

Vancouver was a wonderous time! It truly is a world class city.
The weather was perfect and Diana Krall tickled the ivories and our fancies effortlessly....
I am now, however, bitchy and inconsolable as my glorious week of holidays is officially over and it's back to the ol' grind (And I really do mean "grind"....) 

Seeing as my absolute Fave show in the whole world is filmed in Vancouver, Jenn and I were on "L-word" watch all day Saturday trying to see any sign of Season 3 being shot anywhere around town....
Finally we noticed this sign on the door of the adjoining restaurant to our hotel later that evening and I nearly wet clear thru my capris......
but CURSES! Foiled Again!!!! Of course I am due back at work on June 27th......... 

You Still Move Me.....

Well, It's been quite the jam-packed migration week for Jenn and I....
I swear TO GOD I will never lift another box full of house crap ever again. Jenn decided to step off the Moving Van the wrong way and completely fuck up her knee, so I have been taking up the slack..... Good thing I love her to bits......

So in celebration of this undying devotion, (and a well-deserved break from assembling IKEA furniture) we are heading off this afternoon for a dirty weekend in Vancouver to see the Fabulous Diana Krall in Concert.
See you all back here on Sunday night, and have a great weekend.....

xoxoxoxox Connie.
 

The Boobie Prize!

Well, after a few tedious days of watching everyone take an uneducated stab at "Guess The Breast Knocker Knockout".... Turns out 5 correct was the magic number....

The Winners in a 4-way tie are:

Andy from Walls come Tumbling Down
Spirit of Owl from Slightly Imperfect
Edwaado from The-Fridge-Mag.Net
And, last but not least, Anonymous # 3......

I realize you are just dying to know "whose boobs were whose" so here is the Official Breastular Lineup for your Friday morning perusal.......

TL = Connie
TC = "D"
TR = April
CL = Trillion
C = Jenn
CR = Gwendolyn
BL = Karen
BC = Tina
BR = Joanie

*A huge Thank-you and Tit's Up to all our Fabulous Contestants!*
-The Best Boobs on Blog are always right here at Connielingus!-

Tits a Lovely Day ! - PART 2

Here it is Folks!!!! The day you have all been waiting for!!!!

TITTIE TUESDAY!

Alright, so here are the sordid fleshy rules of "GUESS THE BREAST KNOCKER KNOCKOUT"...

- Each of these lovely mamms can be matched to one of the following contestants:

April from Pissoff
Gwendolyn from Mutant Panties
Connie from connielingus
Jenn the lovely GF of Connie from connielingus
"D" from Paul Cotton Films
Tina from Cakesniffers Beware!
Karen from Karentertainment
Trillion from Trillobites
Joanie from Da Goddess

- "The game" is to check out the above mentioned "breast-shot" donors via their blogs and try and figure out whose knockers belongs to who!
BLOGTASTIC FUN FUN FUN!!!!!

....For simplicity sake, Just match names to location like so:
TL = Top left, BR = Bottom Right, C = Center, CR = Center Right etc. etc.
Guess soon and guess often... CONTEST CLOSES Thursday June 23, 2005 at 10:23 pm PST
Contest open to all residents of the world except Quebec.  

Tits Only One Week Away!!!!!!!

Hello everyone!
I'm still waiting on a few more fantastic cleavage shots!!!! I have 5 confirmed and just 4 more spots left... Don't be shy! Send them in this week to.... helloconnielingus@gmail.com
I will be out of town as of Wednesday, so the official day of "GUESS THE BREAST KNOCKER KNOCKOUT" will have to be next Tuesday, June 21st when I get back to town with my lady and the Uhaul.

I hope to arrive home with mounds of cleavage ooozing out of my inbox so get snapping!  

Home and Garden Blogavision - part 2

CONNIE LAYS A PATIO - The Season Finale!
Here is the finished product, and I am very happy at the results.....Exactly as I had envisioned! Logged 7 hours on Saturday and 6 on Sunday building this masterpiece but it was worth it. I even went and bought myself a little fireplace thing in celebration..... 

Once I was a child......

I got tagged by Spirit of Owl a few days ago to do a chain letter post thing about the "5 THINGS I MISS MOST FROM CHILDHOOD"...

1. - The one thing that I wish I still had was the buildup excitement for Christmas. Don't you remember how exciting it would all be?!
It was mostly because there were so many happy "traditions" that we did in preparation....School Christmas concerts and bake sales, picking out a tree, decorating it with my chosen "favorite" balls, having a huge dinner party on Christmas eve every year with all our family and friends and my grandad reading us "Night Before Christmas". The presents were always good too, but It was definitely the whole experience I miss. The happy drunken family stuff.....

2 . - I was recently having a laugh with a couple of my workmates about how we all had the same story of taking off on our bikes and be gone for hours at a time just riding around the neighborhood. My brothers and I literally wore a trail into the side of the road to this empty lot that had a huge pile of dirt that we built jumps on. I jumped my damn bike so many time all the welds cracked and my grandad was forever giving us shit about repairing our flat tires.... We NEVER sat inside on a sunny day - EVER!

3. - While we are on the theme of all the fun Tomboy things I enjoyed as a child and now miss....
My grandad used to let us shoot his air-pellet gun... We would spend the morning drawing and coloring targets and spend the afternoon peppering them with holes. Even to this day I still have a wicked shot.

4. - It seems to me that it was always the most memorable fun times I had as a child that generally resulted in me getting in shit.... I remember having a plum fight. It was the most awesome attack.... The plums were all soft and mushy and exploded on impact into gooey splatters.... Fuck was that ever a hilarious experience!
....That is until my mum kicked our ass for ruining our clothes.
Another time we decided to go down to a creek and throw big slimy blobs of clay at each other. God did we ever laugh our asses off! When we finally trudged home we had to face the wrath of my mum's yelling and the power of the freezing cold hose all in the same moments. Torture I tell you...extreme torture, but worth every second!

5. - I really miss someone cooking me supper every night and washing my clothes... (hmmm, I wonder if Jenn would be into being my sweet lil' housewife??????.... Yeah I thought not.)

So there you have it... I wish things were as wondrous and as easy as they were before I became a miserable jaded adult...
We just don't take time to do something completely spontaneous and asinine anymore.... everything has to be so planned-out and perfectly executed that we tend to lose the "fun" factor in everything we do......

So thats it, you heard me, be impulsive! go out and throw rotten plums at your significant other and see how fucking funny that would be!




Anyways....
Back to this overly user-unfriendly blog chain letter thing.....

Apparently there are Rules:
Remove the #1 item from the following list, move everyone up one spot, add your name to #5. You should link to each of the blogs for this to be effective.

Coffee Sage
Lewies Blogs
An Online Diary Of Thoughts
Slightly Inperfect
connielingus

Next choose 4 victims, list and link to them and don't expect them to oblige.

Tina @ Cakesniffers Beware
April @ Piss Off!
Trillion @ Trillobites
Lisa @ Huh?

Flipping Houseboat Video

Big Local News....
At 11 pm PST this past Wednesday Night a Houseboat full of young partiers capsized 300 feet from shore on Okanagan Lake in Kelowna BC.... Unfortunately one 20 year old female was killed in the incident, and several more injured.
It was reported that 61 people were on board this particular vessel (that is rated to carry only 30) at the time of the accident.

- On a personal note, One of the Flight Attendants from my company was inside the cabin section at the time but luckily managed to escape unscathed. -

Click HERE to see the dark and grainy but still dramatic home video footage......

Hairy Mechanic Man Nipples!!!!!!!

Seeing as we are on the cleavage theme this week, I casually snapped a few of my workmates nipples (strangely without any question) just for a curious comparison of the types of man breasts there are out there......
- quite hairy aren't they?!?! 

I am an Aircraft Maintenance Engineer.......

This Documents My Big Friday Afternoon Job.... One of our Cargo Aircraft just went thru a major structural overhaul that required the removal of the "Porta-Potti" (on which I am sitting) to be moved into a new configuration. Tonight I was in charge of the "Bogroll Reconstruction and Refit"......  

Bloggeriffic Contest!!!! Enter Now, Enter Often

Who wants to enter into the 2nd annual "Guess the Breast Knocker Knockout" ???
All you need to do is take a picture of yourself, or a friend, in your favorite mammary enhancing bra, (just chest, no face) and send them into helloconnielingus@gmail.com

Once I have received the first 9 entries, I will then proudly display all the contestants pretty "breastular passport photo" in a grid pattern similar to this, and list their names and links to blogsites in a random order....

The rules are simple.... Match the name to the knockers, and the one with the most correct answers wins!!!!!
Contest closes Tuesday, June 14th
*UPDATE* Due to participant request I will be extending the "contest closes" until Monday June 20th.....

P.S.
Men are more than welcome to submit a photo.... No bra required!
 

My Girlfriend is a Cheerleader.....

She surreptitiously tried to keep this website in the closet, but I found it, and now I am outing "Jenna's" cheery little secret to the world.....

Hey, It's Movie Clip Wednesday....

You know what... I think Penguins are funny little creatures.
I came across This Trailer for an independent National Geographic Movie called "March of the Penguins" that is being released this July in North America.
I definitely have to see it.....



hmmmm... Penguins are kinda fuckin'weird aren't they.

Interesting Cultural Beauty Tips

How Fascinating.... I never realized that THIS actually happened.
Damn!... It just looks like it would be so annoying and painful.... You wouldn't catch me sticking a prongy thing in my eye-socket for beauty sake.

Home and Garden Blogavision

Here for your viewing pleasure, is a play by play update picture collage of my new patio I had the pleasure of creating this past weekend. Unfortunately it proved to be a frustrating and strenuous undertaking trying to get the godforsaken cement blocks to line up and sit evenly.... That literally drove me to drink...
The piss off is that it took so painstakingly long this time I'm going to have to spend next Saturday doing the exact same shit.
Ball Hair.....
But wait! The best part - That big pile of sand and gravel was my Birthday present from my mum and stepdad.... You know you are definitely not yer mums sweet little girl anymore after receiving 10 yards of crushed rock as a gift. Geez I'm cool.

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Connie Lays a Patio"(and builds some stairs) this weekend here on Blogger.... 

* AIRPLANE CORROSION OF THE WEEK *

I was inspired to add in a different sort of corrosion this week as I have been linked by Aviatrix from Cockpit Conversations in her most recent Post about Corrosion. Amazingly enough, she happens to be a pilot that is actually interested in the maintenance end of her aircraft.... 'Tis a beautiful quality indeed!

Anyhow, back to my captivating looking bit of metal breakdown......
This is actually a perfect example of Magnesium corrosion at an attach point of a flap actuator mechanism on a Boeing 727.
Magnesium is used quite a lot in the thick casted parts and has a telltale dark colored pitting style of corrosion that is hard to realize it's full extent until it gets cleaned properly. I have actually seen magnesium pit all the way through and still keep its strength and not crack. This damage seen above was probably a combination of dissimilar metals and dirt, water,and/or salt getting underneath the washer of the attaching Bolt.

- An amusing little tidbit about rotted out magnesium castings such as this. - When labeled NFG, originally they will find their final resting place in the scrap metal bin... But, more times than not, are rescued and taken camping, thrown in a blazing fire that will end up eventually blinding the fellow campers as typically magnesium burns brighter than the sun. Fun and Games for Everyone!

Alas! - Its better to burn out than to rot away.....

 

We may look like cute and happy ladies right now.......but be aware of the silent killer.... 

Pre-menstrual Double Trouble

Karen from Karentertainment was curious as to how it must be regarding the whole pleasurable experience of PMS in the relationship realm when it involves 2 women.
- Well, let me tell you....

It's really not as bad as you would think. It turns out to be of a benefit that we are sypathetic to the cause and we understand how irrational the hormones make you. Don't get me wrong, 9 times out of 10 when a screaming, crying, full out battle erupts it is because someone is in their hyper-sensitive pre-period anger cloud... It happens, but we can be objective about it.
I am terrible for feeling fat and disgusting - therefore being bitchy and inconsolable about having to get dressed up to go out when it is that time of the month. My Girlfriend often gets frustrated and tells me firmly, but kindly, its because I am bloated and to smarten up because I look fine.....
I don't think any man alive could live to tell that tale.

It is somewhat true about the phenomenon of menstrual cycle synchrony after living together... It is supposedly caused from the release of pheromones, but no one seems to know for sure. Strangely enough, when one of my previous live-in relationships was on the rocks and we were fighting all the time our periods actually started getting farther apart.....
All and all, it is definitely advantageous to get your periods together and over with at the same time... Although I do like to point out that even if your girlfriend gets hers within the same week as you, between the bloating and feeling crabby the 3 or 4 days before, the 5-7 days during, and the 3 - 5 days of the "recovery" time there only leaves a good week and a bit each month where everything is "normal".
All I can say is at least we don't have to worry about birth control.... That's a whole other shitty-woman-issue can of worms.

Cold Feet Are For Pussy Little Boys.

Jenn will be living in the same house as me in exactly 14 days. Whoa.

I have not lived with ANYONE for the last year and a half. Before that it was a nightmare of a relationship cohabitation including a 6 year old girl-child.
I have lived by myself in a 3 bedroom house for 17 months in pure bachelor bliss. I can blast my music at 4:19 am whilst I am blogging.... I can leave my crusty ol' Crackers and Havarti Cheese with a side of pickles plate where it lands and it will still be there when I get home from work. Laundry day is when I say and my bed gets made just before I get in it on most days.

Am I ready for this?????????

You know what the funny part is.... I have completely shut down in the last week. I have not been cleaning as per usual....I have been "too busy" to get myself groceries to cook up a decent 1-person meal....

I believe I am frightened.

But in a good way......
I think it is more of a "am I gonna be able to please" kind of scared. I really want to make it all so stress-free. I want to be un-bored with my relation-shit this time around......
I really don't want this one to self-destruct. Jenn is such a good girl.

(But Here is the Good News for all you, my Blogmates - I have successfully entered into a prenup clearly stating "at least one hour of blog time each day")

ZZZZZZZZZZ.........Dumb Blog Post.

God I'm feeling bloggin' lazy these last couple days....
Here you go.... How about a picture of what it looks like behind a galley when it is being removed...  

......Or, better yet, an utterly Hot Picture of Scarlett Johansson.
 

It Smelled Like Teen Spirit.......

I had the pleasure of playing quite an enjoyable game of "post a comment" ping pong with Herge over at Angry Chimp about favorite music yesterday. After mentioning a few influential bands of my youth I went on a bit of a nostalgia kick and spent a couple hours listening to some of the old dusty CD's of my angstful grungetastic teens...some of which I probably hadn't heard all the way through in years.
The most amazing thing happened... I started to remember the strangest, most obscure memories that I, for better or for worse, had conveniently tucked away in the darkest recesses of my mind. As each song played I would get a flash of a specific moment where the song must have been the most inspiring... not unlike some type of soundtrack of my life. It was quite a trip.
Anyhow, I was wondering if anyone out there has had that type of music-induced flashback.... What types of songs do that to you?.... Discuss amongst yourselves.

02/06/76

So I just turned 29 an hour and a half ago.... I was standing at the timeclock waiting to punch out as the time rolled over to 00:00.... Exactly 365 days until I am 30. Meh.

But you know, I'm not concerned too much about 30. I already have a couple grey hairs coming in. I've been quite successful with a career and smart with my money. I finally found someone to settle down with who wants to travel with me....
Unlike some people who start to panic at 29 because they haven't accomplished anything, I feel I deserve the right to sit back and enjoy the last year of my roaring 20's.
I'm actually quite looking forward to my Dirty Thirty's anyhow.