connielingus: July 2005

Summer and Blogging Don't Mix.

As you know already, from my incessant whining, all about my perpetual busy life that is nagging interference to my personal pleasure zone of blogging - now you must add the stunning and insane hot weather (35 degrees Yesterday) to the list.
These lazy dog-days of summer generally bring with them out-of-town visitors, BBQ parties, and Drinking Gin and playing Darts on patios instead of being cooped up in the darkest most stuffy room in my house being a insufferable blog-slut.

...It seems now either I purchase a laptop and take it with me too the beach, OR I just get out there and take my winter computer-chair-shaped ass to go splashing happily about in the lake and get a bit of sun on my pasty white globes, visit some friends and have an pleasurable afternoon drinky whilst staring lovingly at my sun-drenched lil' French Tickler.....

Ahhh, I love the Summer.

Squirmy Wormy Nasty Nesty......

The other day as I gazed lovingly from the patio over at my wonderful "poor-man's orchard" I noticed this white blob that looked like the hugest freaky spiderweb glimmering in the summer sun.
Being the "tougher" one of the house, Jenn promptly sent me out to deal with it.....

JAYSUS!!! I approached the pulsating mass of stringy webby outgrowth covered in tiny dead flies......

Good Christ! Its a throbbing Catepiller-filled Coddling Moth nest!!!!

I attempted to set the nest alight whilst it was still on the tree, but it just melted the web and set fire to a few of the dead leaves...

-there was lots of smoke but no end to the now-freaking pre-pubescent moths.
In a frustratingly disgusted rage I then got out the saw and chopped that branch down, stomped on it for good measure, and then set it ablaze in my wee decorative fireplace.....

I grabbed a cold beer and Jenn and I did an primeval interpretive dance to the squeals of the burning moth babies....

Ho Ho! The Family-in-Law is here!

Hello friends...
I am trapped in a Family-in-law tourist overload crisis....
Blogging will be intermittent at best.....
Be back to my fine form ASAP.... Friday is E.T.O.Departure.....
Bear with me my sweeties.....
Kisses!
xxoxoxoxoxooxxx
Connie

MMMMM Clam Juice!

The recent conversations about English foods and Grocery Stores made me think of a Purely Canadian Institution... Mott's Clamato!
- Yes, that's right Folks.... Tomato and Clam juice mixed together in a delightful fashion, used to drink by itself, mixed in beer (called the "Red Eye") or mixed with Vodka in Canada's Fave Summer Patio Drink - The Caeser!

The Secret Recipe for "The Caesar"
- 1-6 shots of Vodka
- a couple dashes of Worcester Sauce
- depending on taste, a splash or 10 of Tabasco sauce
- Fill with Clamato
- Garnish with Celery

- And there you have it, the perfect Canadian Summer Drink!

Galley - Raid!!

2 nights ago I was "asked" to work a double shift (2 pm - 6 am) as one of our major clients had just purchased an aircraft in London and were flying in a deadhead to Canada that night at 00:30 for a 30 hour stopover to get the standard safety equipment (O2 bottles, fire extiguishers, First Aid Kits etc.) installed in the overhead bins and on partition walls as per Transport Canada requirements.
- To make a long story short, this meant an insane scramble of screw-insert installations and composite resins flying about in the wee hours of the morning in order to get everything in its right place and the resins hardened in time for the plane to leave for Vancouver to pick up a revenue flight that evening........

So amidst the stress and adhesive-fume induced delerium, the most fabulous part of this particular work nightmare (besides 8 hours of Overtime pay) was the quality of the foreign food Galley-Raid we were treated too.......

- You see, it is the unwritten rule in The Aircraft Maintenance Engineer Code of Ethics that when an aircraft is brought in on a short-notice overtime rush-rush situation that anything left in the galleys (food storage bins) is fair game to the poor, tired, starving Maintenance folk who have given up their lives and beauty sleep in order to fix, or modify your plane.

So when it was all said and done,THIS was the galley-raid loot I ended up with!...

.... Some lovely English Treats from Tesco's, and for my stinky cheese lovin' French girlfriend - a Tesco's FINEST platter!.

This is me in the cockpit at 6 am looking a little worse for wear but still smiling....
The happy ending was that we got the job done 15 hours ahead of schedule and we are for the moment lauded as superstars....
(superstars eating stinky cheese flown in from London no less!....)

Willie!

Jenn and I are off to take my mum (who has a limited love of music, and which "number one fave" just may be Mr. Nelson...) and my step-dad to go see the legendary Country Star - Willie Nelson......
You know, I used to absolutly LOVE the song "On The Road Again" when I was little....

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* AIRPLANE CORROSION OF THE WEEK *

Well, Well, Well! This Corrosion is a whopper... Important to find, not so exciting to have to pay for.
This piece demonstrates the advanced stage of corrosion in the lower main door frame of an Aft Baggage Pit Door...
- It is decayed beyond repair... Requires full replacement of the 10 Ft. piece... The Price Tag?... A little over $10,000 CDN. - just for the part -

Holy shit is right.

This specific case was probably due to water, dirt, slime etc. that has been sitting atop the aluminum since this particular aircraft was built in the early 1970's. The elements and time certainly will take its toll... Hence there was the invention of the Aging Aircraft Corrosion Prevention and Control Program, which makes up a huge part of our inspections.

This photo shows Kirk, my favorite Metrosexual, as well as just where this corrosion occurred and just how large the scale of this overhaul actually is.... Early estimates are at least 100 hours of hard sweaty labour.
Lovely!

*THE GREAT CANADIAN CORROSION EXPERIMENT UPDATE!* - Week 1 -

- So far it's too early to see any real obvious changes, but I have noticed a bit of discoloration on the scratched off clad pieces... Particularity in the urine soaked piece...........
stay tuned for further updates!!!

Connie and Jenn Go Canoeing!

With the water lapping gracefully along the sides of the white canoe, the two loving ladies glide their way effortlessly through the turquoise waters of Kalamalka Lake. The sun glimmered brilliantly at intermittent moments... It's luminous rays dancing on the waves, bringing with it an enjoyable contrast to the brisk nipple-raising breeze and the ideal moments to snap a few stunning pictures of the landscapes from where we live.

Blog Porn???????

A Dirty Friday Night at the Cyber-Library..........

Friday.....

Ho Ho, The Plumber's Here!........

So last night whilst I was at work the sewer pipe that my washing machine drains into backed up when Jenn (playing the ever-so-sweet housewife...) was washing my unmentionables. A short while later after an evening of sipping juice she went to flush the toilet, and once again water gurgled up out of the drain onto the floor. When I finally got home I had to see for myself just how bad the dirty, pissy water situation really was and like a brilliant sleuth, I emptied the washing machine and got doused in lovely sewer water back-up myself.

So the call went out to the Plumber and the Nightmare in the Shit-Duct had begun...

The blockage was 45 feet down..... He couldn't get past it...... What could it be???? The wad-of-whatthefuck was so lodged it broke the bit off the Roto-Rooter..... Finally the hairy blob of something that looked like a dead cat started to make its way back up the pipe...... Small bits ripping free that looked something like this......

Jenn and I stood there utterly disgusted but equally curious.... "What in the HELL is THAT!" Jenn asked politely to the hard-working young man....
"Well ma'am, It's tampons....Lots of them...Years of them... Hah Hah, they tell you can flush those things just to keep us plumbers in work! Hah Hah!"

O.K. then.....

- Best $141.77 I've ever spent.

I think we have all learnt a good lesson here... Here is a nice list of things that should never be flushed

Yay! NHL Hockey's Back!

I'm glad the whiney millionaires are finished fighting with the crabby billionaires...
Now get back to your job!!! ENTERTAINING US - the average Canadian Fan who spend copious amounts of their hard-earned money to come watch you play our beloved game and pay your outrageous salaries. Now shut up and win us a cup!

This is for you Karen... I'm looking forward to comparing The Canucks and Leafs season with you ;)
GAME ON!!!!

Introducing * THE GREAT CANADIAN CORROSION EXPERIMENT *

I am pleased to present the newest installment on Connielingus..... The Great Canadian Corrosion Experiment!!!!
A little while back I received a comment on *Airplane Corrosion Of The Week* from Herge wondering just how long it would take for a piece of aircraft aluminum to corrode.
I gave some answer stating that corrosion only happens when conditions are right, there is an "accelerant" i.e. acidic substances like cola or urine, and the metal is no longer being protected by a corrosion resistant coating like Cladding, Alodine or paint. Shortly after that I got the bright idea that I would try and recreate a corrosion situation in a sort of "controlled experiment"..... And here we are today!

As you can see by this photo I have built a board with 9 pieces of a commonly used piece of 2024-T3 (copper additive for strength) Aluminum.
- The first row is 3 pieces of clad aluminum.... Cladding is a simple corrosion resistant technique using a thin layer of pure aluminum (because with no additive like copper or zinc, aluminum will actually take forever to corrode -i.e. pop cans are pure aluminum)
- The second row is 3 pieces with the clad scratched off, the most likely to corrode as the all protective coatings have been removed.....
- The third row has the aluminum with a hole drilled thru and a steel screw without a protective aluminum washer between it and the metal. This is to observe the effects of the "accelerant substances" as well as the effects of dissimilar metals called Galvanic Corrosion

- As you can see in the above photo I have introduced the 3 major corrosion causes that are commonly spilled in passenger aircraft:
- Cola
- Coffee
- Urine
The objective is to see how long it will take for each of these acidic substances will take to break down the aluminum pieces, and which one will actually corrode first....
I will be updating every week until we see any sign of metal decomposition!!!!!
Anyone care to take an educated guess which will show signs of corrosion first????

The Annual Connielingus Garden Party!!!

I had a little "come over and try out my new patio, my girlfriend, and say goodbye to Gwen" party on Saturday Evening!
Most of the people in attendance were my work-mates and had yet to meet Jenn - but without a doubt, they grew to love her right off the bat! It actually turned out to be a real love-in for everyone... Lots of those meaningful sloppy drunken hugs and kisses.
I somehow managed to polish off a mickey of Gin and ended the night singing karoke a la "lounge singer" with my pal Gwendolyn from Mutant Panties....
- judging by the amount of people sleeping on my floor, an excellent time was had by all!

My friends and lovely green garden......

Hoooooter Shooters!!!!!!

The fireplace was a big hit......

Jenn getting friendly......

... A red-nosed Connielingus and Gwen sing a few bars of "Hey Jude".... - Take a sad song and make it better indeed.....-

Saturday. Lazy. Picture.

Jenn in her Birthday Suit......Edmonton Alberta Canada. June of 2005.

Let's All Take a Moment to Watch Something Stupid

Well kiddies, it's been quite the week so far.....
Here's Something completely and utterly twisted to make your day go by smooooothly. I stole it from Raymi the Minx who stole it from someone else........

I'm warning you!.... It really is sadistically amusing and quite creepy!!!!!
Go on... Have a quick look.....

* Connielingus "Create A Caption" *

Here's a silly little Game to break up the week! How titillating!

- Use your creative magic to come up with a witty caption for the picture above! -

My Loving Tribute to Tina Cakesniffer.......

My pal Tina From "Cakeniffers Beware" has a very healthy admiration of the English Chef and T.V. Personality Nigella Lawson......
I must admit that I find her quite lovely myself, so as my gift I have gathered up some of my favorite pictures to share with Tina "Thingy" Cakesniffer and the rest of you........

Hmmmm, I'd like to top that English Muffin with my Runny Eggs....

Gee Wilikers! Nigella could've joined in our little "Guess the Knocker" game!.....

Nigella Bites. Hmmmmm, sounds good to me....Maybe start with a nibble please...

Oh Hello There Tina.... Yes its me Nigella..... Would you like a lick?

The Burnout of a Blogstar.... Weblog Supernova!

"Whoa! Look at all that Gay Pride just shooting out the top of my roof......."

You know something, ever since Jenn moved in it has become painfully clear just how much time I did spend each day:

1. Contemplating Blog posts
2. Typing Blog posts
3. Searching for pictures
4. Reading the members of my blog gangs posts
5. Commenting on those posts....

- Christ on a Crutch! It was hours upon hours. (I figured between 14 to 20 hours a week.)
I noticed the lack of blog time right away after the move ( bless Jenn as she really doesn't mind me blogging and actually quite enjoys reading the comments )
- its just now I have more of a structured life, I do more things AWAY from the computer... Like eating. I was a chronic computer eater... Lots of snacky shit.... Now I have a meal time where I sit at the table and have conversations about my day.... There goes an hour of Blog-time right there.
Another screen gazing killer is actually going to bed at a proper hour... You can lose between 1 and 3 hours of precious creative writing with the ideal 8 hours of zzzzz's a night! Big time internet death there.....

Fuck Me!.... being a blogstar is a hard act to keep real.

Well, one good thing is I am on afternoon-shift for the next 3 weeks which means I may sorta regress back into my naughty computer-black hole habits as I can stay up until all hours if need be.
- But then again, It's already crossed my mind how sweet it will be after a long hard day at work to snuggle into bed with my sweet girl instead of sitting alone staring off into cyber space.......

La La La....Our Hate Will Go On........

Oh Merde! Don't the peeepole of Ca-na-da amore moi anymore!!!????

Heh Heh.... They just booed Celine Dion at the LIVE 8 concert in Barrie, Ontario just before she was piped-in via satellite with her Las Vegas Dancing Girls and her pompous Frenchy-Canadian way.

Can't say I blame them......