connielingus

- reflections of my life as an airplane-fixing, lady-loving, first generation eurotrash-canadian grrrly-grrrl..... -

Monday, May 30, 2005

* AIRPLANE CORROSION OF THE WEEK *


This is a stunning sample of the types of Corrosion you can find in a belly baggage pit. I have seen more than a lifetimes worth this week alone. Corrosion generally will run rampant in the aircraft belly because typically this is where all things wet and grungy collect. Speaking of wet and grungy - who wants to hear a gross little fact about airplanes !?!?!?! (O.K. I knew you would)
.....So here goes;
We all know that an aircraft is a completely sealed cylindrical object that generally is used to haul hundreds of people in recycled air, around the globe for hours at a time, right?. As we also know people are, shall we say, self-lubricating body fluid excreting sweaty skin blobs.... So what happens to all the sneezes, bad breath, and dry skin flakes that are expelled from each and every person in that aircraft?....
Well, you see, here's the thing - it actually makes a film on the inside walls of the cabin and slides down ever so slippery to under the belly baggage pit where it sits sloshing around slowly rotting out the structure. Then that's where I come in like the hero I am and grind, cut and replace all that snot-induced rot, so that you can have your safe hot-breathy-aired flight over the Atlantic.

....Yes, you are welcome. Posted by Hello

9 Comments:

At 2:50 AM, Blogger Sniffy said...

Go on then...

 
At 2:55 AM, Blogger Connie said...

Sorry Tina, I was just in the process of editing.....Its all there now.

 
At 3:20 AM, Blogger Sniffy said...

Eeeewwwww. I've not been on a plane in 11 years. I'm flying to Rome in the autumn, but at least it's with Swiss Air, so you'd expect them to be nice and clean. Does the Swiss reputation for cleanliness mean that they sneeze and breathe less, so you think?

 
At 3:37 AM, Blogger Connie said...

Yes, they may be cleaner, but no man can stop their pee from spraying around in heavy turbulence - there is always that issue....
But once again, Urine luck, I am a master piss grinder. No worries.

 
At 4:21 AM, Blogger Herge Smith said...

That's it - I am no longer licking the floor of any belly baggege pit.

Seriously, this is fabulously interesting Connie - I love it! Let me ask you a question, do you get planes in that you would NEVER fly in because they're so knackered?

Just having seen your comment over at Lisa Huh? I'm concerned that you are focusing whilst fixing these planes, and not letting your mind wonder to thoughts of when you can next 'whack off'.

 
At 6:58 AM, Blogger pissoff said...

No wonder you wear the mask.

As for piss spray, well, men don't need turbulence to miss the toilet. They're just dirty buggers to begin with.

Really, I can't say that would be one of my top 10 jobs grinding piss. Good on ya Connie for hanging in there.

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger Connie said...

You know, its funny, I rarely have "lavatory duty" anymore because I've been at my company for over 8 years and I did my time in the early years... but when I did I used to literally spray the whole cubicle down with Isopropyl Alcohol - at least a whole bottle's worth! before I would touch anything.

Herge, as far as airplanes being too knackered Structurally to fly in, I would have to honestly say no. The way that the big aircraft are designed is in such a way that a major failure could happen to one part but there are several other bits of structure called "fail safe" that will stop the aircraft from breaking apart. Do you recall in the 80's there was the Hawaiian Airliner that actually lost the whole front top section of the fuselage and it somehow managed to land.... That is one of the first stories we learn about at Maintenance School.
Hmmmm, that may be a good idea for a post one day....

And also Herge darling, the corrosion and human waste sludge keep my lucid thoughts of personal satifaction down to a minimum most days ;)

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger Karen said...

A film on the inside walls of the cabin...

So you mean that when I lean my head against the wall/window, I'm actually snuggling up against all that human sludge? Is that what you're saying? :(

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger Connie said...

Well, i meant more on the other side.. the side next to the structure.... But have you ever seen those huge greasy forhead marks on the windows? Now thats gross.
Planes are the worst for catching colds too .... I went to Mexico in February and on the way down there were a few people coughing.... 1 week later on the trip home i swear 90 % of the plane was coughing including myself.

 

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